Results 1 to 18 of 18
  1. #1
    blackdragonstory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Croatia
    Posts
    2,829

    Family always and always?

    What a weird title right?
    We can all agree that for the most part we do care about our family and we would do anything to save them if aliens attack.
    But,yes there is always but,have you ever heard of emotional blackmail and other similar and not that nice family virtues?
    Ever been in a situation where a family member is demanding you to do something for them or you dont care about them,dont love them and other honestly crap like that?
    What about the most precious thing about humans where you can help someone 1000 times,but when you dont just 1 time you are the worst person ever?

    Relieve your suffering here and just for the record according to my family I am the worst there can be,so prove them wrong.

  2. #2
    Fanily over evrything, friends, lover. What you're saying is probably more deep rooted than just "hurr family can be shit". Sometimes people are just shitbags even to their family members. Otherwise though, yes family is true love

    <img src=http://www.millenniumforums.com/signaturepics/sigpic2925_12.gif border=0 alt= />

  3. #3
    Lord Cthulhu Nordlending's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    9,198
    I don't see how emotional blackmail work on people.
    ​​

    The real world is cold! The real world doesn't care about spirit! You want to be a hero? Then play the part and die like every other Huntsman in history! As for me, I'll do what I do best: lie, steal, cheat and survive!

  4. #4
    No Shave November Void's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Posts
    49,968
    that's cuz you're a family of robots

    emotional blackmail huh? I think my mom uses something akin to that, though I just call it religious guilt tripping as well as the eternal cycle of gratitude



    The Glorious Fellowship of the Round Jacuzzi:
    https://i.imgur.com/tDbgtsy.jpg

  5. #5
    Dai Don Dedede's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    France
    Posts
    5,806
    Not all mothers use emotional blackmail?

  6. #6
    The Superior Trap Featherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Denmark/Japan
    Posts
    9,529
    Oh boy do I know how this kinda shit can go


  7. #7
    blackdragonstory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Croatia
    Posts
    2,829
    Quote Originally Posted by Raystlyn View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Fanily over evrything, friends, lover. What you're saying is probably more deep rooted than just "hurr family can be shit". Sometimes people are just shitbags even to their family members. Otherwise though, yes family is true love
    Well,I am very self centered person.
    Sure I do have some benefits of being with my family,but then again our country is a shithole and made in a way that a single person cant survive on his own,let alone save some money for a car,house or anything of that sort.
    If I could I would be out in a flash so that I dont have to be judged by them because of exactly what you stated.
    Family over anything.

    I am not sure how you would call this type of person,but I want to do things equally.
    If I give you 5 apples,in return I expect 5 apples whenever I want them and you have them.
    Of course if we make a deal we can replace those 5 apples with something of same worth.
    I cant live a life where I am supposed to help someone just in case I ever need them in the future for anything.
    Maybe I will,but even then I would repay them back if possible.

    Tbh,this blackmail doesnt really work on me,but the problem is that they are threatening to kick me out of the house every now and then and that is the problem.
    If I am kicked out my life will go from barely manageable to a financial wreck.
    I am starting to save for my car,but I need 2 years for that.
    My pay is shit.

  8. #8
    Dai Don Dedede's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    France
    Posts
    5,806
    What did you do for them to threaten you?

  9. #9
    family goes above anything. you ride together. you die together.

    i cant think where i would stand today without my family. neither would i ever turn down a family members ask for support.

  10. #10
    King of Explodo-Kills DoflaMihawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    30,572
    I'd take a bullet for a family member.

    Not two bullets though, that's asking for a bit much.

  11. #11
    blackdragonstory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Croatia
    Posts
    2,829
    Quote Originally Posted by Dai Don Dedede View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    What did you do for them to threaten you?
    They expect too much from me.
    Should have mentioned that I am very individualistic.(cant think of a more accurate word)
    If I am hungry,I buy something or prepare something for myself.
    It might not be as healthy as cooked meal,but it's still food.
    If I need something that is in the garage 40m away from house I go and get it.
    My family on the other hand cant get it themself and instead always ask others to do this type of shit.
    It's not just mothers as one wanted to imply.
    Every family member can be this way.

    Even worse than all of this is that family thinking is - everyone is doing x so we should to.
    Then planting vegetables.
    If I dont like potatoes for example and wont eat them,why would I need to help them plant them?
    Cuz I wont and dont expect them to help me plant some other shit I would like.

    Maybe I am just insane

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by DoflaMihawk View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    I'd take a bullet for a family member.

    Not two bullets though, that's asking for a bit much.
    That's different and nobody is saying otherwise and as I said above we all would take a bullet for our family.
    But there has to be a line otherwise we are just being used under the label of we are family.

  12. #12
    King of Explodo-Kills DoflaMihawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    30,572
    Quote Originally Posted by blackdragonstory View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    They expect too much from me.
    Should have mentioned that I am very individualistic.(cant think of a more accurate word)
    If I am hungry,I buy something or prepare something for myself.
    It might not be as healthy as cooked meal,but it's still food.
    If I need something that is in the garage 40m away from house I go and get it.
    My family on the other hand cant get it themself and instead always ask others to do this type of shit.
    It's not just mothers as one wanted to imply.
    Every family member can be this way.

    Even worse than all of this is that family thinking is - everyone is doing x so we should to.
    Then planting vegetables.
    If I dont like potatoes for example and wont eat them,why would I need to help them plant them?
    Cuz I wont and dont expect them to help me plant some other shit I would like.

    Maybe I am just insane

    - - - Updated - - -



    That's different and nobody is saying otherwise and as I said above we all would take a bullet for our family.
    But there has to be a line otherwise we are just being used under the label of we are family.
    I know what you mean, I have a relative that doesn't seem to care about us except when she needs something.

  13. #13
    Dai Don Dedede's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    France
    Posts
    5,806
    Well you said that when you did something for someone you expected them to pay you back. If you see it that way, your family is doing you a favor by allowing you to live in their home (clearly they don't seem to think that kicking you out will be deleterious to them from what you said), so why shouldn't you help them with some activities?

    Maybe your examples were not good ones and there's worse, but if you feel that you should never help them out with something if it does not directly benefit you (like planting potatoes) while living in their home I'd say you're being unreasonable and leeching on your parents.

    Btw, you wouldn't help a friend moving from a flat to another if he needed people to lift his stuff?

  14. #14
    blackdragonstory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Croatia
    Posts
    2,829
    Quote Originally Posted by Dai Don Dedede View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Well you said that when you did something for someone you expected them to pay you back. If you see it that way, your family is doing you a favor by allowing you to live in their home (clearly they don't seem to think that kicking you out will be deleterious to them from what you said), so why shouldn't you help them with some activities?

    Maybe your examples were not good ones and there's worse, but if you feel that you should never help them out with something if it does not directly benefit you (like planting potatoes) while living in their home I'd say you're being unreasonable and leeching on your parents.

    Btw, you wouldn't help a friend moving from a flat to another if he needed people to lift his stuff?
    I am going to work and giving money to the house.
    I do help many times,but the problem is that they cant bear it when one refuses their demands and all those times I did help them with something like they never happened.

    Since I am very self centered and individualistic I tend to do things on my own 99% of the time,so after helping so many times others it seems like I am doing favors left and right and will never get even half of those back,but not because they wont,but because I wont need them.

    Also,we are having a fake democracy in our house where we do things that most want to do.
    For example 3 want potatoes,1 doesn't which means we will get potatoes.
    The problem is that I am very different when compared with them,so it becomes me vs them and I always lose.
    And if I cant change your mind or reach a compromise with my arguments I will not want to help you do what I was against in the first place unless I am proven wrong with arguments.

    Lastly,I have heard this question before.
    Dont have friends,but if I did it depends.
    If he/she gives me a heads up a day or two before I can manage,but if it's right away or same day I was told about it I probably wouldnt unless it's a death and life situation for which I would need proof.
    I am not the best person there is and wont even try to pretend to be.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by DoflaMihawk View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    I know what you mean, I have a relative that doesn't seem to care about us except when she needs something.
    There are two ways this can go.
    One is where as you wrote just read "she only cares about you when she needs something".
    Second is the same but then she pays you back for what you helped her with.
    I am the second.
    I know everyone thinks and wants that everyone around them is constantly thinking about them and making their lives easier,but sadly life isnt like this.
    We are ourself most important first and foremost to ourself.

  15. #15
    You dont have friends bds?

  16. #16
    Knight of Romance Heart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    12,439
    lolno

  17. #17
    Hold for applause (◡‿◡✿) Nikamara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Bar Eden Hall
    Posts
    3,005
    I think I'm obligated to do all that's w/i my power for family even if I won't benefit from it personally because when I'm in need, I know I can count on them.

    However, I don't like it when my kindness gets abused and I try to be upfront enough to just tell them that, because holding onto resentment until it festers can lead to me drop kicking someone xD.

    click here!

    Nika's Fairy Tail Reading Log - click here!
    ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ The real world is for those who can't imagine anything better.

  18. #18
    blackdragonstory's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Croatia
    Posts
    2,829
    Quote Originally Posted by Nikamara View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    I think I'm obligated to do all that's w/i my power for family even if I won't benefit from it personally because when I'm in need, I know I can count on them.

    However, I don't like it when my kindness gets abused and I try to be upfront enough to just tell them that, because holding onto resentment until it festers can lead to me drop kicking someone xD.
    Well,that is my issue with it as well.
    I even tested it.
    I tried being good and prepared a meal for them one day.
    Then I was asked to do it the next day too.
    And then third day also.

    Which is why I simply assume every such situations will end up the same and thus to save myself the trouble and effort I cut it short and say no to everything.
    Same thing happens with other people.
    For example the place I work at I was asked to help out whenever I can to two coworkers.
    I was still new and at first it was here and there.
    Then as I got better at my job I was able to do it more frequently when at some point the coworkers I helped out started chatting among themself and basicly wasting the time I "bought them" and were expecting me to do their work everyday.
    If I didnt I felt as if they thought I wasnt doing my share of the work when in fact I was always doing my job and 25% of theirs.
    My pay remained the same,so I just exploded a bit and refused to do more than 10% and that was only because we worked on connected machines for paper.

    Also,I on the other hand think how the only place where family truly counts is when something big is up.
    Like you lose your job and need a place to stay for a while,or you are in the hospital and need a kidney or something.
    While doing small things like bring me a chair or fold some shirts for me is just using the person and can easily turn into abuse.
    And that is why we(me and my family) clash and why I am the villan.

    One last bit in this reply.
    Not that much connected to this,but I was asked today what is my goal in life seeing how I dont have shit and can only survive due to help of my family.(mostly car and low cost of staying in our house - 1/3 of what would be a regular price)
    With that question I was simply reminded that I dont have any goals in life currently.
    I am going to start saving for a car this month,but other than that nothing really.
    In the past I thought I would get the laser correction treatment which is basicly 3months of pay and last year I thought how it would be cool to have a treadmill to practice indoors while watching some anime or movies.
    The only true goal I ever had would be immortality,but I am hesitant to even try looking for clues because it's better to think how we can become immortal during my lifetime than to study about it constantly and know that this shit aint happening any time soon,let alone my lifetime.

    @White yea,in the past had one,but we were so different.
    He was just so one dimensional.
    Motorbikes/cars and girls.
    Plus its always awkward whenever we talk about girls and such things because I am guess what
    And he was always trying to push me to talk to girls while I am just too shy/introverted that I just wouldnt know what to even say.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •