Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 82
  1. #21

  2. #22
    Awesome.

    Now all that's left is to make Y Super Moderator.

  3. #23
    From the shadows he controls us like puppets.

    We must be weary of his footsteps.

    I don't trust him whatsoever.


    People think it's the alone of being forever alone that hurts the most, but that's not true. Everybody's alone sometimes, whether for periods when they're not dating anyone or just for a weekend while their spouse is at a conference. Alone is part of the human condition. It's the forever that pulls down the corners of your mouth just a little bit when you give someone a smile meant to indicate that everything's okay with you even though you want to scream that nothing's okay and never will be. It's the forever that tastes bitter in the back of your throat when you see a happy couple walking in the park or laughing in a restaurant. It's the forever that has you wide awake staring at your ceiling into the wee hours of the morning.Forever alone.
    There's an ongoing half-serious claim in our culture that men think about sex all the time. Every 17 seconds or so. That may be true for some guys but not a forever alone. After awhile you stop being able to think about sex, at least the way other people do. You can think about it abstractly, or when watching other people perform a stylized version of it alone in your room while you use your hand to joylessly complete a sad shadow of the biological imperative, but you stop being able to imagine sex as something you could be a part of. You see a woman in the springtime, her midriff peeking out from between the soft cotton of a shirt and the rougher waist of a pair of jeans. You start to imagine her naked, constructing a fantasy in detail, the way her breasts would sit against her chest, the soft down or absence thereof on her pubic area, and then you try to insert yourself into her presence and the fantasy crumbles to dust under the weight of its own absurdity. You know there's no chain of events, no course of actions, that could lead to that ill defined imaginary room where the two of you would meet in an act of carnal congress. There's no way to there from where you are, it's not even an alternate universe, it's an inconceivable one. It's like trying to imagine a world where everything else is the same except elephants float around like helium balloons and have to be anchored by their trunks or they'll float away. An inherently absurd thought. That's the idea of you and her being intimate. So you look away from that tiny sliver of skin, trying to keep your face from contorting in pain and bitterness. Where other men might smile at her you don't, because your smile sucks, and you suck. Forever alone.
    Eventually you don't even bother to build the image only to have it blow it away like a sand painting in a tornado. You imagine lesser things. The brush of a cool, soft, feminine hand against yours. Mundane couple bullshit like eating pancakes on a Sunday morning or watching a movie or just sharing your day with someone who gives a fuck and is not your mother. The other party in these pathetic little domestic tableaus is ill defined in your mind, because if you imagined her clearly enough to make her realistic then you know she wouldn't want you. And even with this feminine blur, this placeholder, this blurry silhouette of nothingness you project your emotions onto, the person she's with isn't really you. It's a better version of you, a thinner less obnoxious version who will control his temper before saying something cutting, who doesn't geek out and talk too much, who is free from the flaws who make you who you are and assure that nobody else will ever want to share their life with that person. Then you realize that you're fantasizing about an Archie Comics version of yourself making tomato soup for an undefined feminine projection blob, and you realize that even the part of you that creates these images doesn't want to be with you and can't imagine anyone who might. Forever alone.
    Around you the world stays mostly the same. People fall in love, hit milestones, get married, have kids. You're even jealous of the divorcees because you know that this is just a bump in the road for them, part of their journey. You're still at the starting line watching them recede, wanting to chase them and catch up, knowing you never will. But while the world is almost static, you are aging. Moving through your life alone. You start to get bitter at the milestones you've missed and the chances you'll never have. You see the graying of your hair and the years piling on like rust eating at the hull of a decommissioned ship and you realize that your opportunity for young love is already past. Even if you got it together and got in the game you'd just have a shot at middle aged love. It doesn't matter if you think women age like a fine wine, what wine connoisseur wants to live his life without ever tasting the shocking astringency of the harsh tanins of youth. Even if that's not your thing you don't want to cut it off forever. But you have. You won't even have memories of those very good years, as the song says, to keep you warm as you slide towards your dotage. All you have is your bursting store room of regrets and bitterness, and you can always cram in more. And you know that that rusty battleship will some day have a hole in its hull and be fixable, good for nothing more than salvage scrap. You add up the time it would take to lose the weight, get your teeth fixed, figure out your professional career, the time until you can smile at that woman in the coffee shop with confidence rather than the stomach sickness of self hate, and you realize it all adds up to a very big number. Everyone thinks of themselves as eternally 22 but at some point you are forced to admit that you are 37 and half your life is over and the back nine of the remaining half is not a time when people finally get that whole dating thing right. If the window is not closed its halfway there and sliding fast. Forever alone.
    All this breeds desperation and depression so you shove it back because you need to function, you need to keep eating and staying warm, you can't just stop and feel. But your dam is fragile and it leaks. And when you see that girl whose hand you want to brush against, who could sit with you looking into your eyes through the steam coming off her coffee cup and just be, who could understand you (she probably couldn't, but this is something men like to project on to women) you feel the dam start to buckle and the river behind it start to surge and you don't want to break down crying in the coffee shop because that's not what people do and if you can't have love at least you can have dignity, or the appearance of dignity, or the delusion of the appearance of dignity, so you turn your face to the side, you hope and pray she doesn't try to draw your attention (generally safe on that count, old chum) and you put one fucking foot in front of the other and continue down your sad and barren blighted path. Forever alone.

  4. #24
    The Edgelord. Katyusha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    55.7558° N, 37.6173° E
    Posts
    570

    The Red Army is here to rule with an Iron Fist!
    The Russians are back!


  5. #25
    DoflaMihawk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    28,399
    I missed my chance to change his set while we had equal rank!

  6. #26
    PIERCE THE HEAVENS Bold's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    9,836
    Congrats.

    Man, seeing GP's name in blue is weird.


    “With a man's soul and a strong back, go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb! Whether it's impossible or laughable, this is the path that ALL great men walk! If there's a wall in our way, we'll break it down! If there's no path, we'll make it with our own hands! The magma in our hearts is blazing like flames!Everlasting Combination: Gurren Lagann! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?! Believe in you who believes in yourself!! Isn't your Drill the one that will pierce the heavens, the earth and through to tomorrow?”
    -- Kamina

  7. #27
    King Bradley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Brazil
    Posts
    169
    Congratulations, GP!

  8. #28
    Estarossa of "Charity" Chen Xin's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    32,666
    Congratulations, Great Potato.

  9. #29
    Master Mirror's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Location
    Finland
    Posts
    8,482
    Congratz!

  10. #30
    like seashells Loki's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    930
    Congrats GP.
    "No I'm not a pornstar but I eat somebody"

  11. #31
    Formerly Nekomamushi Big Mom's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Sweden
    Posts
    1,897
    Congrats, GP. You deserve it!

  12. #32
    Zutto zutto zutto zutto Makenzye's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    13,920
    Quote Originally Posted by Bold View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Congrats.

    Man, seeing GP's name in blue is weird.
    Yeah. It's gonna take some time.

  13. #33
    gratz to GP

    we have 3 admins now

  14. #34
    Mfw Crispy/Allara posts The Bald Headed Negro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    11,674
    phenomenal

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by p̶ɐ̶p̶ɐ̶⅁␚!ᖉө̶ө̶p̶ View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    gratz to GP

    we have 3 admins now
    Mc's retired

  15. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by The Bald Headed Negro View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    phenomenal

    - - - Updated - - -

    Mc's retired
    huh

    since wen

  16. #36
    More life to the Boss Alex D. Boss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    12,734
    Congratz, GP.

    Now show us what you got. Use the power right.

  17. #37
    Crispinianus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Italy
    Posts
    36,821
    That's great news!

    ... now give us MW5.

  18. #38
    Congratulations.

  19. #39
    bode expiatório Kaang's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    5,820
    Big deal.

  20. #40
    - L·A·Z·E·R·H·A·W·K - Cake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    CANADA
    Posts
    8,101
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaang View Post
    This quote is hidden because you are ignoring this member. Show Quote
    Big deal.
    Be happy a black man is in power
    ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ
    My Blog


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •