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    No problem, happy to help a friend in need.

    Like I said, I don't read fanfic a lot so I don't know many people who could your assess your work. The one who introduced me to the fanfic I'm reading now is Bold, so I guess you could ask him. Other than that I think you should make a thread, there's bound to be someone on this site who a fan of fanfic.
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    I don't read much fanfiction, I just happened to be reading one I like atm.

    I'm not really picky about what I read either. As long as it's at least mildly interesting or has some kind of potential (which I think you're one has) then I'll read it, so don't expect many harsh comment from me lol
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    So he's met some giant crab people? Didn't see that one coming. There's plenty of different paths for the story to take now, which is good for you since you've now got plenty to work with. I like the little hints you've added that imply this guy's some kind of space traveller, adds some mystery to the whole thing.

    But I would recommend getting a second opinion since I don't know much about critiquing fanfic.
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    You know what they say, practice makes perfect.

    Yeah I'd like to read the rest.
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    Pretty good. I think you may be laying it on a little too thick that this guy is in pain. It's mentioned in like every other sentence. You could use that space to maybe describe the setting or even the guy's appearance. I hope he meets someone in the next part though, this guy on his own is starting to depress me lol.
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    After a first read, I liked it. You did well to convey the sheer pain this guy is in, and it makes me wonder what happened to this guy for him to be like this in the first place. And if other readers feel this way then naturally they'll want to read more to find out.

    I'm not much of a critic though. Maybe you could make a thread about this and get other opinions? But I know I liked it and would like to read more.

    BTW I laughed a little when it took all that effort to stand up only for him to collapse right away
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    Not really lol. Can't you just copy paste or something?
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    Sure, I wouldn't mind. I'm already reading a fanfic atm so another couldn't hurt.
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    Wow. That seems like it's way of my depth then lol

    Mind if I give it a read? Or is it on paper?
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    I know that feel. Whenever I had to write an essay or something for English, the start was always the most difficult part.

    You should try and put your thoughts to paper. Doesn't have to be coherent, just give a brief outline of plot, characters and any other ideas you have in your head so you don't forget any of it.
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About Makenzye

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