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Live Fast Eat Ass
10-22-2012, 04:04 PM
I'll start with my unrivaled favorite poem:

Annabel Lee
By Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee—
With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,
Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we—
Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in Heaven above
Nor the demons down under the sea
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,
In her sepulchre there by the sea—
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

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Next one of my first poems, written seven years ago:

Moon Man Masque (The Grey Tea Party)

It is misconception that beauty can dance in a shroud of death
and that a killer can forget his one and only breath
but now is not the time to wonder quick queer fancy
for tonight we march
and we don’t come home
till the lover is dead

We kiss the rosebuds of the whiskey bottle
we reel and hide
we swim out to the island
build a set for the hand of rain
twilight all the stars with knives in their backs

Press against the earth
and feel it swallow us in its mothers embrace
feel it rein our souls,
and skewer out our bones
and leave us perfect
leave us god

We’re all strangers,
all niggers,
strangers in a strange stone face

There was a murder on the streets
and the cold grey pavement, now a crimson child,
running and playing down
Quick son, where’d the killer go?

He jumped in my soul,
and he went down my arm, and my little finger,
then he came out the barrel of this little gun
now I think he’s hiding in the lung of that man,
playing in that little red puddle over there
What a silly man

And despite this very flattering review from a lady on allpoetry.com

Hi there...Whoah. What a debut to the site. I'm very impressed.

My little interpretation would be that this is more societal
than anything. You use some 'nature' references, but I see a lot of social stuff going on. There are references to murder, children, and the asphalt jungle-- the city.
St 5-1There was a murder on the streets
and the cold grey pavement, now a crimson child,I'm elated at the symmetry, the ugly truth brought to light with phonics that are stunning, graphic.

St 6,1-3He jumped in my soul,
and he went down my arm, and my little finger,
then he came out the barrel of this little gun.. Jarringly real. This shows the internal detachment of man, his lack of accountablity one might say to the law and his peers, the escape of what I would have said from my last piece, when others ask 'Why'? All they answer we get is where they're from-a sarcastic slant of imperial injustice. Ok. Ok I'm getting too deep..lol.

All in all, this is a fine piece. Reminds me of some of the city poets who crowd the coffee shops and finally make something political out of their beatnik rantings.

Excellent. I'm going to feature this one on the Showboard which is to the right of your screen so others can click on without searching. I hope you get lots of comments.

A critical review is invited
Only suggestion I have is to insert the 'glue' to the intention in more than a few places. This will give it shelf life, in spite of its ambiguity.
Thank you and welcome to AllPoetry!
I can assure you that this poem is about...precisely jack shit. I did alot of drugs when i was 16.

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Here's another, aslo from seven years ago, during my brief tenure as a lyricist for shitty high school bands:

Down the Highway, and the Feud of the Snake

The snake comes with Autumn,
to nip at the heel
the old times are going,
flowing mothers seal
Jimmy got his revolver,
and his six bullets left
got it by the collar,
Mason Dixie defense

Jimmy step up, but you know he gonna lose the fight

Down the highway,
just three states to go
where will we end up?
only mama knows
on down the highway, three states to go

Winter sets over,
The snake coils and strikes
Jimmy slams down the hammer,
determined in the fight
five shots ring out,
melting the snow
but Jimmy missed his target,
and bares two fang holes

Jimmy boy he tried, but you know that he lost the fight

Down the highway,
just two states to go
where will we end up?
only mama knows
on down the highway, two states to go

Jimmy lay in Spring time
his blood feeds the earth
you know he fought bravely,
but he could not hold the hearth
but the snake is writhing,
and soon he’ll be dead
Jimmy’s’ blood the final bullet,
caught the snake through the head

There you go ole Jimmy son, I guess you won the fight

Down the highway,
just one state to go
where will we end up?
only mama knows
on down the highway, one state to go

The snake was buried in Summer,
amidst all the glee
everything is beautiful,
and Jimmy is free
but a new dark cloud is heading,
over the old waters’ line
anew death a-comin’
but for now everything’s fine

Jimmy grab your revolver, it’s not the end of the fight

No more highway,
no more states to roam
this is where we end up,
like mama told
there is no more highway, the end of the road

Fecal Excrmnt
10-22-2012, 04:13 PM
Annabelle Lee is a pornstar lol

Live Fast Eat Ass
10-22-2012, 04:27 PM
Only you would know.

11-16-2012, 03:47 AM
I remember reading Annabel Lee some time ago. It certainly is a good one.

Of the poems you wrote, what features of them do you like?

11-16-2012, 05:04 AM
Two silly poems I once scribbled down while bored in class:

Harry Larry

There once was a spider named Larry,
He had eight legs and was hairy.
He enjoyed french tea,
And climbed tall trees,
But quit because it was too scary.

Sid the Kid

There once was a kid named Sid,
He had a habit he needed to rid.
He gambled a lot,
And always got caught,
Because he didn't know how to bid.

Live Fast Eat Ass
05-01-2015, 07:34 AM
I actually wrote another poem after all these years. this one is a lot more autobiographical than other things I've written

I stumbled violently through the church door
thirty minutes late
all the old women spit at me like snakes

I awkwardly took my seat in the back row
keeping civilians beyond the reach of my stench
ran out two or three times to vomit in the ditch

the preacher spoke in laconic droll
the people seemed far too excited

they tell me there's importance in his words
try as I might I can't find what it is
I don't Abraham and I don't know his kid

Then I watched him lead a parade of children
in suspiciously translucent white gowns
and hold them under water
hoping Jesus claimed them before they drowned

Some time later he shook me awake
I halfway apologized for being rude
he asked if he could save my soul
but I wasn't really in the mood

Live Fast Eat Ass
05-13-2015, 12:42 AM
Nail the notice to the doorframe
And then turn your back for good
The vibrations stirring little monsters
Who live inside the wood

The carpenter bees
Make their final stand
Shoring up their wings
Spitting poison into our hands

Stay here a little while
Don't go away just yet
Sit beneath the sky with me
While you still can

And hold my hand as the sun sets
On the ghosts of our hopes
And bleeds color from the sky
Like an angry kaleidoscope

And then let the long black night
We promised each other
today commence
Lock the door and close the shudders
Put the padlock on the fence

I'll be driving somewhere far away
Maybe somewhere west and south
And I'll never make it back to this house

Live Fast Eat Ass
08-14-2015, 12:56 AM
I met Jackrabbit early this morning
He was way up in a tree
Three and half weeks out
Of West Tennessee State Penitentiary

And I saw a smile on Jackrabbits face
For the first time in my life
After 26 odd years of fucking it up
Jackrabbit's done right

By me, and by the world, and by himself

Early this morning
Or maybe late last night

08-14-2015, 01:03 AM
jackrabbit hanged himself?

08-14-2015, 01:28 AM
Did the rabbit walk into trap?

Live Fast Eat Ass
08-14-2015, 04:03 AM
Working on another one